God Bless Texas!
"Texas can make it without the United States, but the United States can't make it without Texas!" Governor Sam Houston
One of God's greatest gifts to Texas - Texas Bluebonnets - I stopped with my girls, Paloma and Mariposa, February of 2004 along Interstate 10, the highway between San Antonio and Houston.
Texas has given all those liberal complainers plenty of time to get used to the election results. After seeing the whiners along the inauguration route, the folks from Texas have decided that we might just have to take matters into our own hands.
Here is our solution:
#1: If he gets elected, Let Kerry become President of the 49 United States.
#2) Texas will secede as guaranteed by our right to do so when Texas joined the Union
#2: George W. Bush becomes the President of the Republic of Texas.
So what does Texas have to do to survive as a Republic?
NASA in Houston, Texas (we will control the space industry).
We refine over 85% of the gasoline in the United States.
Defense Industry (we have over 65% of it). The term "Don't mess with Texas," will take on a whole new meaning.
Oil - we can supply all the oil that the Republic of Texas will need for the next 300 years. Yankee states? Sorry about that.
Natural Gas - Again we have all we need and it's too bad about those northern states.
Mr. Kerry will figure a way to keep them warm..
Computer Industry - we currently lead the world in producing computer chips and communications: Small places like HP, Texas Instruments, Dell
Computer, Compaq, EDS, Raytheon, National Semiconductor, Motorola, Intel, AMD, Atmel, Applied Materials, Ball Semiconductor, Dallas Semiconductor, Delphi, Nortel, Alcatel, Etc,Etc. The list goes on and on.
Health Centers - We have the largest research centers for Cancer research, the best burn centers and the top trauma units in the world and other large health planning centers.
We have enough colleges to keep us going: U.T., Texas A&M, TexasTech, Rice, SMU, University of Houston, Baylor, UNT, Texas Women's University, TCU, etc. Ivy grows better in the south anyway.
We have a ready supply of workers (just open the border when we need some more )
We have control of the paper industry, plastics, insurance, etc.
In case of a foreign invasion, we have the Texas National Guard and the Texas Air National Guard. We don't have an army but since everybody down here has at least three pistols, six rifles and a cases of ammo, all of which 99% of Texans know how to use! We can raise an army in 24 hours if we need it. If the situation really gets bad, we can always call The Department of Public Safety and ask them to send over a couple of Texas Rangers.
We are totally self sufficient in beef, poultry, hogs, chickens and vegetable produce and everybody down here knows how to cook them so that they taste good. Don't need any food. Gotta mention that we have an abundant supply of the best-looking georgeous ladies (they also can shoot!) in the whole world.
This just names a few of the items that will keep the Republic of Texas in good shape. There isn't a thing out there that we need and don't have.
Now to the rest of the United States under President Kerry : Since you won't have the refineries to get gas for your cars or natural gas for your homes and businesses; for a reasonable price, we'll sell it to you. Then you and President Kerry will be able to drive around in your 9 mile per gallon SUV's. The rest of the United States will have to walk or ride bikes. Mr. Kerry has predicted global warming, so you will not need the gas for your homes, etc.
You may not have any TV as the space center in Houston could cut off your reception.
The People of
"The Republic of Texas"
A Texas story
A Texan died and ascended into Heaven.
St. Peter met him and welcomed him saying "You will certainly enjoy Paradise."
The Texan shook his head sadly and said "I always thought that TEXAS was Paradise."
St. Peter said "Well, let me show you what we have to offer." He took the Texan to an area that had a beautiful river flowing through it with wildlife and flowers everywhere. "Isn't this beautiful?" said St. Peter.
The Texan replied, "Yes, but not as pretty as the area around SAN ANTONIO."
Somewhat ruffled, St. Peter took him to another area where there were rolling hills, whitetail deer and bluebonnets and Indian Paintbrush everywhere. "Now" said St. Peter "Have you ever seen anything so wonderful?"
The Texan paused and said "Yes, it is beautiful but it does not hold a candle to the TEXAS HILL COUNTRY in the springtime."
Becoming more upset, St. Peter then took the Texan to a beautiful white beach, with gentle waves, and an azure sky. "Now have you seen anything this beautiful in Texas" said St. Peter.
The Texan smiled and said "I guess you've never been to SOUTH PADRE ISLAND".
At this point, St. Peter took the Texan to a large rock. On the side of the rock was a huge iron door. St. Peter opened the door and they stepped into an elevator and started going down. As they descended, it grew hotter and hotter. When the elevator door opened, it revealed the fires of damnation-Hell. St. Peter said, "Now, have you got anything in Texas that can top that?"
The Texan thought a moment and shook his head. "No, but I know a couple of old boys from HOUSTON that can put that thing out for you."